(Review) Wallbanger ★★☆☆☆

Author: Alice Clayton
Series: Cocktail
Genre: Contemporary Romance
384 pages

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she’s gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor’s nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy’s athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly…

In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight… 

I wanted to love this book.  I really did.  It was third on the list of humorous romance books on Goodreads.  At first, I found it pretty funny.  But after a while it seemed like the author was forcing the funny.  Near the end I was getting fairly annoyed with it.  Especially the “O”.  Dear God, if I see that again I’ll lose my freaking mind!  Suffice it to say I had to force myself to finish the book and ended up skimming over the last few chapters just to see what happened.

In the beginning I really liked Caroline.  About halfway through she really started to get on my nerves.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading so many m/m books but I felt like she was such a girl.  I wanted to tell her to man up and get over it already!  Stop being such a woosie.  Simon, on the other hand I really liked through the whole book.  Although I found the whole “harem” thing a bit extreme and unrealistic.  

My favorite part had to have been the night of the horror movie.  If you’re going into this book because of the “hot” part in the description though, you’ll be disappointed.  *spoiler*  There isn’t any hot until almost the end of the book and then there’s just too much at once.  I read the first bit and then skimmed to see what they were saying through the rest of it.  Like any normal humans can have sex that many times?  Give me a break.

I know I make it sound like I totally hated this book.  If I had I wouldn’t have finished it.  I did like it for most of the book.  I think it was just too darned long!  I kept checking to see how much longer there was left in the book at around 70% and it was like looking at the time on a clock when you really want to leave somewhere.  It dragged on so slowly.  I had every intention of reading the rest of the books in the Cocktail series but by the end of this first book have changed my mind.  If those books are anything like this one I don’t think I can handle it.

Favorite Quotes:
“You know those moments when everything is exactly the way it was meant to be?  When you find yourself and your entire universe aligning in perfect synchronization, and you know you couldn’t possibly be more content?  I was inside that very moment, and fully conscious of it.”

“It breaks my heart the way young girls pick themselves over, never thinking they’re good enough.  You make sure you always remember, you’re exactly the way you’re supposed to be.  Exactly.  And anyone who says otherwise, well, poppycock!”

 
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